When I stated that I like Plastic Surgeon on Facebook, a friend replied that I shouldn’t let too many people know that I’ve resorted to the knife to defy ageing.
But it is inevitable that people, such as my friend, think of ‘Plastic Surgeon’ as being exactly what those two words suggest – that is, a consultant who undertakes operations to improve people’s appearance.
Enter the words on the Google search engine, and you come up with Plastic Surgery of the medical type – but scroll down, and you will find us, Plastic Surgeon, and below: “The founders and market leaders in providing cosmetic repair services to UK construction and housing.”
Well, we might not do tummy tucks, but there are many similarities to what our finishers achieve when compared to the medical profession. We fill cracks, dents and gouges in doors, windows and kitchen worktops, as well as baths, basins, bidets and toilets – a surgeon can do the same to a person with botox (onabotulinumtoxinA – what a great word), collagen fillers and strange sounding beauty products with names such as hydroxypoxydropitin, or whatever the latest and greatest age-defying product is.
Well, the surgeon may roll back the years for their patients, but we do exactly the same. With a tired looking kitchen or bathroom, our finishers, using their extensive range of skills, can make it look much ‘younger.’
And then there’s our brick tinting service, whereby we can restore and colour-match bricks, building blocks and grout – the comparison here being a California Tan, or chemical peels.
With warped uPVC windows, cills or cladding, Plastic Surgeon gently heats the material so that any wrinkle or deformity is removed, leaving the product looking as good as new – a medical practitioner does the same to people; definitely not by heating them, but through ‘mending’ soft tissue and tightening sagging skin.
We use drills, screws and power tools – so does the orthopaedic surgeon repairing bones. The plastic surgeon can minutely suture skin, so that the scar is virtually invisible to the naked eye. We at Plastic Surgeon, meanwhile, do the same when we repair a scratch in a timber door, for example; carefully filling, sanding and then colour-matching, so that our repair too is virtually indiscernible.
So, we will continue to rub happily alongside the medical profession, repairing, disguising, beautifying and titivating, hiding reality and, most importantly, making humanity happier with itself as well as its surroundings.