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Royal rewards for enterprising Plastic Surgeon

According to one newspaper, which shall remain nameless, dozens of NHS administrators are driving top-of-the-range rental cars that are funded by the taxpayer.  Apparently, health authorities around the country have spent a staggering £1,000,000 every year since 2007 on luxury cars such as a Jaguar XF, Mercedes CLS, Audi A5 Coupe and BMW 330, as well as a £37k Porsche Boxster for one lucky desk-jockey.

On the other hand, the same publication is reporting that at least one in three workers will not return to work until Tuesday 3rd May as they take advantage of the Easter, Royal wedding and May bank holidays to enjoy an unprecedented 11-day break – at a cost to the economy of up to £30 billion.  On the back of this, many business owners are complaining that the wedding would have better been held on a Saturday or Sunday, in order to have less impact on their work – taking their minds off the cost of the wider public sector for a while at least.

All this blogger can say to businesses is this – stop moaning and join in.  Indeed, Plastic Surgeon is well placed to enhance any wedding venue, honeymoon destination, or new home: being able to tackle any damage done to the fabric of buildings.  In fact for anything that looks not quite perfect, our highly trained finishers can help by carrying out repairs to a more than royal standard.  We urge any couple planning their wedding, or other important event, to call us to help make everything pristine for their big day.

The chairs, tables and glass vases; chunks out of walls or scratches in windowpanes; damage done to enamel, plastic or stainless steel baths, basins, bidets or loos – we can repair this so that everything looks spotless and brings a relieved smile to a bride’s face.

Whatever your views on the brouhaha surrounding the wedding of William and Kate Middleton, who can blame people for taking time off and enjoying the string of unprecedented bank holidays, combined with such glorious weather.  Indeed, the royal wedding is the cherry on the cake – while this country might be a bit shabby around the edges, who does pageantry better than us Brits?

Surely, the sight of these two people getting married will lift our souls, as will those highly groomed horses and the immaculate soldiers riding them.  Seeing the Queen in all her finery and a new hat will bring a smile to our lips, as will Victoria Beckham carrying her own-label crocodile handbag, big enough for her and David to climb in (and will she also carry flatties in it for the long walk home?)

John Major, who served as a formal guardian to the princes after their mother’s death, is going, while Lady Thatcher was invited, but will not be present because of ill health.  Other ex premiers Tony Blair and Gordon Brown did not make it onto the guest list, apparently because they are not members of the Order of the Garter – no doubt Ms Blair will surely be happy at this, as it will avoid the quandary over doing a curtsy.

So let’s all smile for the wedding – whether it be a wry, cynical one at the celebs invited at the expense of our former prime ministers; or if it is because you cannot wait to see Kate’s dress. For businesses, smile too, because you have thought of a way of embracing an historic day that will also bring you economic success – as we at Plastic Surgeon are doing.  We wish them both the very greatest of happiness.

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